The Least of These

To the casual observer, things look just peachy. I laugh out loud and smile often. But if you look long enough and closely enough, you'll see the tears just behind my eyelids. The tears I'm trying valiantly to hold back. But when I'm all alone they come. They come in the middle of the night and awaken me. They come because I know that very soon I'll be saying goodbye to another little one. And Oh Dear Lord it hurts! I know that being a foster parent means that I'll say goodbye to many children. I know they are not mine to keep. But I also know that I can do no less than to love them completely while they are with me, and that means my heart breaks completely when they go. I am so very happy for them, that they find forever families! I pray for them often and for their families, both past and present. But still I hurt. I cry out to God to please give me strength. To please take the hurt away. And then I remember why I do it.

I've been there. Right where they are. I've been in the presence of a parent that was mentally unstable. I've been the child that hid from an abusive step-parent. I've been the child witnessing violence. I've been the little girl violated. I've been the child grown up too fast. I've been the one no one seemed to want. I've been the runaway. And yet, I've also been the one that was shown kindness, and the love of Jesus, by strangers. Those that shouldn't have cared, but did. I've been there, and so I do this. Because to whom much is given, much is required. (Luke 12:48) I have been given much in this life, not the least of which is forgiveness for rejecting the One that only ever loved me, for way too long.

As I spend seemingly each waking moment asking for God to give me strength, crying sometimes, and holding it in during others, I realize that God has ALWAYS been right there by my side, and that He always gives me strength for the tasks that He has given me. (Phil 4:13) He has equipped me and He stands by me. He has shown me in His Word that this is what those that love Him do. (James 1:27) We care for the least of these. Whether temporarily or permanently, it matters not. So, while some seem to think I'm some kind of superwoman for doing this, let me be clear. I am not. I only do this in God's strength.  On my own, I couldn't do it. I would crumble. 

Today, during one of my difficult moments, as I cried out to God for strength, a couple songs came on... and interestingly enough, these same songs are the ones that seem to play each time I start to feel down. Because I just really like these songs, especially in my situation, I thought I'd share them with you. And if ever you feel like maybe you could show the love of Jesus to one of the least of these, let  me know and I'd be happy to share with you how you could get started. Because, really when it comes right down to it, though there is pain, there is so much more joy! And like my husband says: I'll keep my eye on the eternal prize and "just think of the reward' to come. :) Blessings my friends! And thanks for reading.

Cleaning Out the Hidden Places

Today, my baby boy wanted to look out the front window at the street outside. So I opened the blinds so that he could. Then as I looked closely, I realized the tracks of the window were quite dirty, as were the blinds. Now, I keep a fairly tidy home- especially when you consider that I have five children. However, I don't always keep up on the areas that stay hidden from view, or that don't need to be done daily or weekly. So, I had no idea the state of my blinds and window tracks. I'm sure I'm not the only one that forgets to look at these things, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. However, as I began cleaning these (I could NOT leave them like that) I was struck with a parallel for my spiritual life. I thought I would share with you, with the prayer that it might be of some help or use to you as well.

 

As I was cleaning, it became clear to me that by ignoring these seemingly inconsequential tasks, I had created a task much too big to be completed in one day, and maybe even too big to do by myself. I was going to need some help. This is much the way we are before we begin to rely on God to change us. Now I'm not saying we can't strive to better ourselves and our behavior, but apart from God we cannot be good enough. We can never be clean enough on our own merits.

As it is written: "There is none righteous, no, not one;" Romans 3:10

Not only is this the case before we begin to rely on God and call Christ our Savior and Lord, but it is also true after we claim the promise of the cross. Many times, we go about our daily lives, and we let the "little" things in our spiritual lives get ignored. We let our prayer time become less and less; we read our Bible only once a day, if at all; and we isolate ourselves from fellowship with other believers. These are just a few ways that I have noticed that I have ignored my spiritual life on occasion. I'd like to pretend that I'm always on top of it; but like the state of my house, it's only clean if you don't look too closely. But unlike the state of my house, I always need the help of the Lord to clean it up my spiritual state. He continues to change me day by day, but only as long as I let Him do it. I need not feel overwhelmed by all that needs to be done in me. God will do it. But I do need to remain ever vigilant and aware of when I begin to drift away. If I do not remain aware, there will always be consequences and a much bigger mess to clean. I'd much rather clean a small mess than a big one, wouldn't you?

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Today I pray for vigilance. Amen!